Bad Puppy

For those of you with no experience of dogs, this is a pinch collar. I've always wanted to use one of these on a submissive.

But I won't. It's just not feasible. Because it's designed for the fur of a dog's neck, it's not comfortable enough for anything more than a short scene. Worse, there's the consideration of how careful you have to be to pull only from the front to prevent putting pressure on the front of the bottom's neck—and even then there's potentially dangerous pressure to the sides of the larynx.

But, oh, how delightful it would be for this position.

Now if only someone would design a safer and more comfortable version of this for kinky use... preferably in stainless steel... ?

Marks

Tonight I'm going to mark your face.

I'm aiming for subtle bruises. Small hematomas, nothing grandiose, just at the corner of your mouth near the jaw. This is precision work, you understand. You're going to have to stay very still, and it's going to take a very long time. It will be a small pain, but over and over and over, until the skin is as red and swollen as I want it to be. Then you'll make love to my clit with your bruised mouth. Giving me pleasure will cause you pain, and make my orgasm that much sweeter. Before I let you sleep, I'll make you count the number of cuts your teeth have left on the inside of your lip.

-------

What will you tell the people you work with tomorrow? That you got into a fight? I wonder if anyone will think to ask if your opponent was a woman.

Maybe I should leave nail marks so there's no doubt.

-------

When you leave for work in the morning, I will roll around in bed thinking about that mark. I will masturbate on your pillow before I leave, so that in order to smell what I've left for you when you return, you'll have to press that painful lip into the cloth.

And the best part of all is that for days on end, there will be no hiding my mark of ownership. It will be there on your face for everyone to see, and yet no one will know but you and I.

The Submissive Man's Complaint

Seems I've heard it from dozens of submissive men. I'm sure you've heard it, too.

"Why are all the dominant women wasting themselves on relationships with dominant men?!"

Okay, maybe they're not insensitive enough to use quite those words, but you get the gist of it. And I guess I didn't really understand it either.

Until last night.

Last night I was at a bar, and I began hitting on a guy who caught my attention. How did he catch my attention, you ask? Well, first off, he was hot. Clothes that fit well enough to show off his lean build and the muscles that were clearly not from the gym but from hard physical labor. Sleeves pushed up to show the definition in his arms and the thick calluses on his hands. Physically, he was masculine, which I think is something a lot of submissive men think they don't need to be. I am a big fan of the classically-fit male form and lemme tell you, androgynous, he was not. Beyond that, he was direct and confident and talkative and flirtatious. He was not in any way apologetic or submissive. He made me laugh. And he had the most beautiful and expressive eyes. Once past the initial attraction, I could see in his eyes that he wanted to play, and that he was trouble. I could tell that he wanted to fuck me and make it hurt... and make me like that it hurt. And he knew how to keep me interested.

He taunted me.

Oh, it was infuriating... and it was an absolutely irresistible goad to someone as competitive with men as I am. It is not in my nature to cede control. I wanted to fight him for it, and so I taunted him back. A little personal doubt here. A little scorn there. He couldn't resist it either. Things escalated.

Was it a gamble on my part? Definitely. Maybe I wouldn't win. Maybe he'd overpower me. (But that would be okay too, because I think he really could make me like that it hurt.)

But I could make him beg. And squirm. And curse. And love every fucking minute of it.

Sometimes he'd win and sometimes I'd win. Maybe he'd even win more often than I would. But it would always be a challenge, and it would never be boring.

________________

There's no happy ending to this particular vignette. (He was looking for a one-night stand, I wasn't. Whatever.) But I thought maybe sharing this will shed some light on that question that seems to torment so many of you.

A New Game

Tonight we're going to play a new game. You're going to get hard for me, and after I bind your hands to the headboard, I'm going to straddle you, with your cock inside me.

And I'm not going to move. There won't be any thrusting. None of the friction you'll crave, and no release.

But I'm going to come. Oh yes, I certainly will. And between the moments where I clench and moan around your cock, I'm going to hurt you. There will be pinches, and slaps, and clothespins, and the mean little rubber flogger, and if things go on long enough maybe we'll even get to that cunning little dagger that you're so afraid of.

The object of the game is to see how many times I come before you start to beg me to move on your cock. You will be counting my orgasms, and there will be a penalty if you lose count. If I get to ten, maybe I'll actually let you come tonight.

Shall we begin?

KinkForAll

Okay, okay, so you've probably heard already, but I thought I'd cross-post the flyer here to help spread the word.

Unless I suddenly have a windfall (in this economy? yeah, I'm holding my breath for that) I will not be at the NYC event... alas. Some of the coolest kinky folk in the world are attending, and I won't get to hang out with them. I'm so jealous I could spit.

PLEASE COPY AND CROSSPOST THIS MESSAGE FREELY.

If you have already heard about KinkForAll through the grapevine, then please consider this email a reminder. If you haven’t, then please take a minute to scan this message. You’re receiving this message because someone trusts you to read it with an open mind. Smile! :)

Vitals
======

What: A no-limits sex-positive gender and sexuality unconference.
Why: To inspire a creative, interactive and open environment where everyone feels comfortable talking, learning, and being inspired by all kinds of sexuality.
When: March, 2009 (exact date yet to be determined)
Where: NYC (We’re still looking for a venue! Can you help? See ‘Get Involved,’ below!)
Who: Everyone
How much: Free (as in beer as well as freedom)

Details
=======

KinkForAll is an ad-hoc gathering born from the desire for people of the kink, queer, sex-positive and related communities to share and learn in an open environment. It is an intense event with discussions, presentations, and interaction from all participants. (It is inspired by the BarCamp community.)

ANYONE WITH SOMETHING TO CONTRIBUTE OR WITH THE DESIRE TO LEARN IS WELCOME AND INVITED TO JOIN. When you attend, be prepared to share with others. When you leave, be prepared to share it with the world.

A KinkForAll is a special kind of gathering because there are no spectators, only participants. Attendees must give a talk or a presentation, help with one, or otherwise volunteer/contribute in some way to support the event. This is called sharing and we like it. All presentations are scheduled the day they happen—there are no pre-scheduled presentations or keynote addresses. The people present at the event will select the presentations they want to see.

Anyone can present, on any topic related to sexuality. You do not necessarily have to teach a new skill or idea. You might share an experience, review a product, or read a poem. The goal is to start a discussion, make connections, and exchange knowledge. Presentations promoting specific commercial products or companies are discouraged.

Learn more about what to expect at
http://kinkforall.pbwiki.com/WhatToExpect

Learn more about the event guidelines at
http://kinkforall.pbwiki.com/TheRulesOfKinkForAll

Get Involved
============

We need your help in spreading the word. Please help by participating. Here’s how:

1. Get excited by reading the ideas on http://kinkforall.pbwiki.com/KinkForAllNewYorkCity
2. Add your name or handle to the list of participants
3. Join the mailing list and introduce yourself by emailing kinkforall@googlegroups.com

If you have access to a venue, or know someone who has access to a venue, please email the kinkforall@googlegroups.com mailing list with that information.

Still have questions? Read the Frequently Asked Questions at
http://kinkforall.pbwiki.com/FrequentlyAskedQuestions

or email kinkforall@googlegroups.com for more details.

KinkForAll Online
=================

Participate online before the event at your favorite social networking web site.

Homepage: http://KinkForAll.org
Google: http://groups.google.com/group/kinkforall
Twitter: http://twitter.com/KinkForAll
Identica: http://identi.ca/kinkforall
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/KinkForAll/40066342762

All primary organizational efforts are being coordinated via the mailing list. Join for free and help turn ideas into realities!
http://groups.google.com/group/kinkforall

I'll Take Questionable Definitions for $1000, Alex

Over at Axe's page, there's been some discussion on the subject of "cock milking"—specifically, what exactly it is.

I seem to be in the minority of commenters there who do not think that cock milking is more-or-less synonymous with prostate massage. Over there the consensus seems to be with Ang's definition: "Cock milking: the act of prostate massage when it results in ejaculate essentially oozing from the tip of the cock as if it were being milked." There's also the mainstream porn definition, which seems to be any hand job/blow job that leads to ejaculation on the part of the man. But neither of these quite ring true for me. I mean, cock milking in BDSM should be something that is in some way similar to the milking of a cow teat, so the first definition is in completely the wrong erogenous zone, and the second is just not demeaning and objectifying enough.*

*Okay, maybe that's my personal preferences talking.

The third option I've seen comes closest, and involves an actual milking machine with electrostimulation (search for hugh1109 on XTube if you really care to look) ... but that's such a rare practice that it seems silly to even bring it up. I mean, really—who would spend that much money on something that is so boring? It hardly even qualifies as porn, and certainly holds no interest for me whatsoever as a dominant woman.

And it's still not what I think of when I hear "cock milking."

What I think of is the process of getting a submissive off (yes, by hand) so many times that it stops feeling good and actually starts to hurt him ...and ideally he should beg for it to stop and he should feel it while walking for the next few days.

Is there a term for that?

What I'm Thinking: the Home Depot Version

So I was wandering around my local Home Depot the other day, looking for a specific pair of gloves I'd seen someone use in a scene. I forget what she called them... Roofing gloves? They were incredibly rough, almost as though someone had taken the rubber from tires and minced it into tiny little tetrahedrons, maybe an 1/8th of an inch on a side, and then glued those to the palms of a pair of work gloves.

They were the most delightfully evil spanking gloves I've ever seen, and I must have a pair.

Alas, I could not find them. But as I meandered the aisles, I saw some other things that made me pause to consider. I'm sure I got some odd looks as I tested the heft and thwap of various items that were not originally meant for use on flesh. Here's a taste of the things that ran through my head.

Pliers. Really only useful if you get the locking kind. Not as versatile or aesthetically pleasing as fetish clamps and weights, but certainly cheaper.

Redwood shims. Light, probably not too painful for spanking... except for the splinters. Oooo, splinters. Too mean?

Shag carpet. I think my favorite part is the rough grid on the back.

Tiny little saw blades. I guess they were for a hack saw or something. Half an inch by 5 or 6 inches, and finely toothed. I wondered about the marks they'd leave if I hit someone with the flat of the blade and whether they come in double-sided varieties. You wouldn't get much force at that length, but you might be able to leave half-inch welts with pretty lines of pinpricks alongside.

Irrigation hose. Hard, smooth black plastic, about an inch in diameter. Quite painful, with very little give. Kind of like a light stingy truncheon. I'd wield this one very carefully. Not at all elegant, and very, very mean.